Swimming with E

What I forgot to tell you, Bloggy, is that tonight I get to swim with the fishes.  Oh dear lord, of course I mean Eleanor.  Not the mob kind. Stop crying Bloggy. YOU are as sensitive as my old Blog. Uh-oh.  Okay. dontmentiontheoldblog dontmetiontheoldblog....


Phew.  Anywhoozle, E and the swims.  Well I said she is a mini Nancy which mean her feet are webbed.  Not really besides we have already paid enough attention to E's feet.  She just loves the water the way the other two did NOT take to it. Like, I thought coming from me they would immediately administer fins from the hospital.  Meanwhile, E (me) likes to swim and light up a few cigs at the bottom and generally look at everyone's parts.  Which brings me back to the earlier posting of yes it might be time to shed a few pounds.

But when I swim with E, she is hysterical. Obviously she is in charge.  I joined a pool this summer and it had five water slides and three diving boards and it looked like a kids jackpot. The only thing it DOESN'T have are salads at the snack bar.  For real.  I would roll into that joint with E - some serious noodles at least two- a floating ring with angel wings...



And of course I am like one of the rides at the pool.  So  I play  with E for some time and then it is essential that I make a friend for her at the pool.  That's when mommy gets to walk away and relax. Yo, I have made so many friends for E at the pool and they were all so different.  Most days, it worked out, but a couple a times it was like the Kardashians.  There was one girl where she and E broke up several times during the course of the day, and every time they came out of the water the mom and I didn't know if we were picking out wedding china or moving house.  I am like how do you guys fight UNDERWATER?  Seems like you got other things to concentrate on, like surviving.

So tonight I will swim with E before her swim lessons.  She will ride me as a mermaid and we may essentially end up in Hawaii if I can ever figure out the YMCA's plumbing system.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Library

Image
So exactly why do they not want my services?   Not sure.  I mean, I can definitely do more than a monkey.  A little more.  Maybe they have too many monkeys?  I hear they are making a come back.  So once again I am here at the library, smelling all of the smells of the public. I need a passport for id. So I went to the place where they give out passports (called the post office) and turns out I need my birth certificate. Yeah, that guy.  So I emailed Grandma Patsy and hopefully she is on the case. I was recently introduced to a meatball sub and oh my blog.  I am trying to LOSE weight and the meatball sub is my enemy.  SO now its me against the meatball sub.   He has so much POWER, although I can order him to me at a moment's notice.   Still.  Meatball sub.
Read more

Bloggy

Image
Here we go, Bloggy.  It's just you and me, blogging around town.   And never jogging around town. Eiw.  All the ogging.  I WAS walking really fast and all the fat parts of my body statrted to jiggle and I thought that's good because it means that  they are thinking about MOVING.  AWAY.  FROM ME. Go away fat parts.  You're money's no good here. Anyway, guess where I am?  That's right.  The LIBRARY.  This place and me are 2getha 4 eva.  But like I filled out a form to volunteer here and they have not called me back.  And  I gave them my RESUME, Blog.    Poor, Blog.  You don't have a resume yet, do you?  You have to grow, Bloggy.  You're just a little blog right now.  You have like seven posts or something.  Baby Bloggy. Okay enough soothing of the blog.The people in this library for real do not care about the utterances of their bodies.  I have a phlegm guy to my lef...
Read more

Swim with the fishies

It turns out I did not. So I’m still alive. And I also didn't swim last night with E. Though she did have her lesson. So the lesson. Okay I’m not trying to be rude but I think my swimming lessons consisted of Den throwing me in the pool and or ocean, smoking a cig, nodding and walking away. I vaguely remember a kickboard and some flutter kicking. I think I learned the strokes at Sandpipers in NYC in the winter, actually. There, I also learned how to make a flotation device out of a flannel shirt. For real. Sandpipers was dope. We used to go to the pool across from dangerous Asser Levy for lessons. It was this Olympic sized college pool in Hunter College and all the kids in the neighborhood signed up and were taught by this couple, I think last name Collins.  So mama swam and swam.  Mama could swim.  So basically I was good for being a lightening rod champ 25 yard dash kind of thing and then I dropped dead.  Like no stamina.  But for the one lap?   W...
Read more