I Have No Idea

Here we go, Bloggy.  It's just you and me, blogging around town.   And never jogging around town. Eiw.  All the ogging.  I WAS walking really fast and all the fat parts of my body statrted to jiggle and I thought that's good because it means that  they are thinking about MOVING.  AWAY.  FROM ME. Go away fat parts.  You're money's no good here. Anyway, guess where I am?  That's right.  The LIBRARY.  This place and me are 2getha 4 eva.  But like I filled out a form to volunteer here and they have not called me back.  And  I gave them my RESUME, Blog.    Poor, Blog.  You don't have a resume yet, do you?  You have to grow, Bloggy.  You're just a little blog right now.  You have like seven posts or something.  Baby Bloggy. Okay enough soothing of the blog.The people in this library for real do not care about the utterances of their bodies.  I have a phlegm guy to my lef...

That's his dj name.   So I wrote him this whole email basically outlining all the reasons he needs to buy me a desktop computer.  Well, I didn't really outline reasons as much as I told him it was my birthday, I wanted one and I was his goddaughter.  See,  you start using the Big Guy upstairs and it becomes very hard to say no, Bloggy.  I mean we have a GOD BOND.  Somehow in some country, this converts to him purchasing me a desktop.  I know you get it. Then I won't have to come to the library all the time to feed you, Bloggy.  For instance, today it is pouring rain.  Mama no wanna leave the comfort of her old man's E-Z chair at home.  Sometimes, I like to pretend to be Archie Bunker and wear the same white shirt and brown pants over and over.  And I like my CHAIR.  And soon, as I mentioned before in one of our "sessions", I will be all a pied.  I don't know what that means but I think it has to do with feet., ...

So Bloggy I am back at the library.  You guessed it. Mama and the books.   There are a bunch of things Mama cannot figure out.  One of which is how to share you.  Don't get worried you will always be safe here, but I would like to share you with pictures and not some automotan  Blogger shpiel on fb.  I just know you can be so much prettier, Bloggy. Juiced up.  But I gotta figure out some blogspot rules or something before that happens.  Rules.  Blech. Today I did ten push ups but it was like I bent my elbows....eh eh one centimeter.  But still.  I kept thinking is your nose really supposed to get close to the ground?  Cause my schnozzle was way up in the sky where I like it, enjoying steaky treats.  Well, metaphorically. So apparently your caloric INTAKE must be less than your caloric OUTPUT, Blog, and this is where it gets tricky.  Sounds simple.  Gets tricky. Lots of stuff we do is sitting on our...

So there is the universal smell of library.   I have called it.  It's everywhere. I guess all books smell the same?  It must be something about the paper and bindings but every library might as well be a Mc Donald's cause they all smell the same no matter where you are.  True dat. Oh my god I have had "Moon shadow" stuck in my head and I think I am going to explode.  Cat Stevens, man.  Fine Mooooon shadow moon shadow. What else is the haps? I am going to watch E swim in a few. So I went to the dermatologist, Bloggy. She was okay but a little wired.  That's not weird; it's wired.  I am try to think of how to explain her maybe too friendly?  Trying too hard? Anyway she was way too flattering as she zaps mama all over with her chemical stuff that freezes things and keeps telling me I'm the Bee's Knees.  Doctors are supposed to be stolid.  There's your million dollar word for this blog. I'm trying to find a picture for yo...

Here I am again, Bloggy! I have missed you.  Mama walked to the library to get on the computer. Mama's gonna be walking a lot if you get my drift in the terms of my license is suspended.  There may or they MAY NOT be a dui going around, I dunno. I don't remember anything.  But I have to walk.  So there was a gap in my blog.  Poor Gappy Bloggy.  Lookin all fresh and then the gap.  Sorry.  Mama was busy with some serious busy. First I started I new job.  Three days in, mama stands up too fast with anemia and faints at her new job.  Never fainted before. Yeah the ambulance was called and the whole nine.  Nevah going back there.  Listen if you want me to write.   Mama needs a twenty.  Paypal all up in my ass.  Mama is poor.  For realsies.  Donate and give me money cause I'm funny. Duh.  Open up the purse strings. You get the picture.  I want to see how much money you have so show me.  Be ...

So we got this And then we got this Evidence of growth.  I love my human science experiments.   So not only do they grow and get larger and stranger, but they start having like their own ideas and ....comments.   Gross.  Oh!  And they start having boyfriends.  And kissing.  And giving mama heart attacks. Like for real.  And then I'm thinking I know I signed up for all of this but I thought it was like going to be all babies and fun stuff. I kinda forgot about the teenage part.  My bad.  But you can't like return them anywhere so, now what.  You gotta TALK to them.  That's the worst.   You created a personality that is now arguing with you.  Why did I do this to myself? Still, I want to squeeze her, she is so cute.  Helen.